It's been a while since I've posted a rant, but here we go.
You know, as much as I understand the outrage over what Donald Sterling said, I can't get behind the extreme punishment. Who decides when it's okay to cross into the dangerous territory of severely punishing someone for what was said in the privacy of their own home?
I don't care if a recording was made of it, he still said it in his home, and it's not like he made a death threat against anyone, admitted to killing someone, or said anything else to endanger anyone.
Call him out for it, call him a racist jerk, call him a twat, embarrass him, make fun of his ignorant, douchey comments. But to permanently ban him and attempt to force the sale of his team for it? I call bullshit.
If this sort of invasion of privacy happened to everyone... well, based on the number of times I've said I'd like to bludgeon someone with a shovel, or the number of times I've openly admitted I will go all vigilante bitch mom on anyone who hurts my children, I should be locked in a padded room and be eating Valium and crayons for breakfast.
But then again, I'm not a wealthy celebrity type person with valuable property, am I?
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
People I'd like to bitchslap, Part 2
People. Seriously. When I honk at you 8 times to get your car out of the middle of the grocery store parking lot aisle, because you're just sitting there texting... GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY! Don't ignore the honks from me and everyone else and keep texting as other people eek past and give you the stink eye.
Don't roll your eyes at me as I stop right next to you and yell, "Move, idiot!" through your open window, after I've had to carefully maneuver around your car, narrowly missing the rear of another car who is trying to get past you.
You're inconsiderate, selfish, rude, obnoxious, and all those other adjectives that describe douchebags like you. Put your damn phone down and drive.
Don't roll your eyes at me as I stop right next to you and yell, "Move, idiot!" through your open window, after I've had to carefully maneuver around your car, narrowly missing the rear of another car who is trying to get past you.
You're inconsiderate, selfish, rude, obnoxious, and all those other adjectives that describe douchebags like you. Put your damn phone down and drive.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
People I'd Like to Bitchslap: Part 1
Pageant Moms- WTF is wrong with you?
Do you realize what your precious daughters are being judged by? By their "beauty", which is stupid; toddlers and young girls aren't supposed to be "beautiful", they're supposed to be cute or adorable.
To make them beautiful, the kids are waxed, buffed, tweezed, botoxed, and made to look as fake as possible. It's all about how much makeup they're wearing, how big their hair is, the "sparklyness" of the adult-style clothes they wear, how white their teeth are, and so on...
Some of you moms even have your little kids wear padded bras to make their "boobs" look bigger. It's ridiculous. You pageant moms are almost condoning attraction to children by dressing your innocent little darlings up to look like hookers. I'd like to bitchslap every single one of you and show you photographs of little girls who have been raped or murdered by child molesters.
Kids are not meant to look sexy. By turning them into raving lunatics who think they have to dress up like sexpots to be liked or well-judged, you are turning your little angelic daughters into narcissistic, shallow little shits who will never understand the meaning of the word "real".
To hell with you all for damaging your kids this way.
Do you realize what your precious daughters are being judged by? By their "beauty", which is stupid; toddlers and young girls aren't supposed to be "beautiful", they're supposed to be cute or adorable.
To make them beautiful, the kids are waxed, buffed, tweezed, botoxed, and made to look as fake as possible. It's all about how much makeup they're wearing, how big their hair is, the "sparklyness" of the adult-style clothes they wear, how white their teeth are, and so on...
Some of you moms even have your little kids wear padded bras to make their "boobs" look bigger. It's ridiculous. You pageant moms are almost condoning attraction to children by dressing your innocent little darlings up to look like hookers. I'd like to bitchslap every single one of you and show you photographs of little girls who have been raped or murdered by child molesters.
Kids are not meant to look sexy. By turning them into raving lunatics who think they have to dress up like sexpots to be liked or well-judged, you are turning your little angelic daughters into narcissistic, shallow little shits who will never understand the meaning of the word "real".
To hell with you all for damaging your kids this way.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Ban the World [Explicit]
WARNING: This post contains offensive language and offensive ideas. If you're a normal freaking human being, then read on. If you are otherwise, run away from this horrible page and go play solitaire.
I think everyone has gone a little "ban happy". Talk of banning things has really gotten out of control. And instead of banning IMPORTANT things by imposing harsher laws, (for murderers, rapists and scumsucking pedophiles for example), people talk about banning insignificant things like gay marriage, public breastfeeding and the like.
Let's just ban everything that offends someone, shall we? Aside from banning racial slurs and gay slurs and douchebags from sagging their pants to show off their "not so tidey-whities", let's ban classic literature because it has a few offensive words in it. Let's ban child spankings. Let's ban EVER mentioning the word God in public in any form. Let's also ban Heaven, Hell, Allah, Jesus, Muhammed, Christian, Mormon, Catholic, Jew, Muslim, Atheist, etc... You are no longer allowed to use those words. Ever.
Let's ban male ear piercing and males with long hair and males with fingernail polish or eyeliner. Let's ban tattoos and any form of body piercing except the ears. Let's ban boys from playing with barbies and girls from playing with trucks. Let's ban porn.
Let's ban EVERY TV show (because every single show has something in it that could possibly offend at least 1 person). Let's ban every book with smut in it or any book that mentions witchcraft or anything out of the fantasy realm. Screw it, just ban EVERY book!
Let's ban everyone from using homeopathic medicine. Let's ban everyone from using alopathic medicine. Screw it, let's just ban EVERY form of medicine! Let's ban everyone from using words aside from vagina and penis to refer to genitalia. That's it, if you say "cock", you go to jail. Personally, I think "vagina" sounds like a slimy thing riddled with disease, so I don't have one.
Let's ban hardcore veganism and let's also ban those Godawful, abusive eaters of meat. From now on, everyone will eat scientifically prepared, nutritious but flavorless cardboard.
Let's ban every possible thing that could offend someone.
And just for shits and giggles, YOU'RE banned from being in my presence now, because I'm sure there's SOMETHING about you that I don't like. If you've got a problem with that, then tough shit, because apparently, this is America the Banned instead of America the Free. And the Home of the Brave? Screw you, brave people are banned too.
I think everyone has gone a little "ban happy". Talk of banning things has really gotten out of control. And instead of banning IMPORTANT things by imposing harsher laws, (for murderers, rapists and scumsucking pedophiles for example), people talk about banning insignificant things like gay marriage, public breastfeeding and the like.
Let's just ban everything that offends someone, shall we? Aside from banning racial slurs and gay slurs and douchebags from sagging their pants to show off their "not so tidey-whities", let's ban classic literature because it has a few offensive words in it. Let's ban child spankings. Let's ban EVER mentioning the word God in public in any form. Let's also ban Heaven, Hell, Allah, Jesus, Muhammed, Christian, Mormon, Catholic, Jew, Muslim, Atheist, etc... You are no longer allowed to use those words. Ever.
Let's ban male ear piercing and males with long hair and males with fingernail polish or eyeliner. Let's ban tattoos and any form of body piercing except the ears. Let's ban boys from playing with barbies and girls from playing with trucks. Let's ban porn.
Let's ban EVERY TV show (because every single show has something in it that could possibly offend at least 1 person). Let's ban every book with smut in it or any book that mentions witchcraft or anything out of the fantasy realm. Screw it, just ban EVERY book!
Let's ban everyone from using homeopathic medicine. Let's ban everyone from using alopathic medicine. Screw it, let's just ban EVERY form of medicine! Let's ban everyone from using words aside from vagina and penis to refer to genitalia. That's it, if you say "cock", you go to jail. Personally, I think "vagina" sounds like a slimy thing riddled with disease, so I don't have one.
Let's ban hardcore veganism and let's also ban those Godawful, abusive eaters of meat. From now on, everyone will eat scientifically prepared, nutritious but flavorless cardboard.
Let's ban every possible thing that could offend someone.
And just for shits and giggles, YOU'RE banned from being in my presence now, because I'm sure there's SOMETHING about you that I don't like. If you've got a problem with that, then tough shit, because apparently, this is America the Banned instead of America the Free. And the Home of the Brave? Screw you, brave people are banned too.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
The Jerk Drawer
For a dear family member of mine who requested it:
What's the deal with some people? What makes some people such flakes? How is it that you can be there for someone day in, day out, but when YOU need a helping hand, that person is nowhere to be found?
Friendship goes BOTH ways, people! It's not fair for you to receive or even expect help from a friend multiple times and then flake out on that friend when the situation is reversed. REAL friends don't do that!
It's not cool for your friends to do you favor, after favor, after favor, but you never do anything in return. If you duck out on a friend when they really need you, that rips you off the friend shelf and throws you in the jerk drawer.
You don't want to see what the jerk drawer looks like- it's not pretty. So don't jump off the friend shelf. Quit acting like such a jerk, before your friends begin to think you really ARE one.
What's the deal with some people? What makes some people such flakes? How is it that you can be there for someone day in, day out, but when YOU need a helping hand, that person is nowhere to be found?
Friendship goes BOTH ways, people! It's not fair for you to receive or even expect help from a friend multiple times and then flake out on that friend when the situation is reversed. REAL friends don't do that!
It's not cool for your friends to do you favor, after favor, after favor, but you never do anything in return. If you duck out on a friend when they really need you, that rips you off the friend shelf and throws you in the jerk drawer.
You don't want to see what the jerk drawer looks like- it's not pretty. So don't jump off the friend shelf. Quit acting like such a jerk, before your friends begin to think you really ARE one.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Don't Ask
You know something I really hate? When a person asks for my opinion, then yells at me for it. We've all got opinions on different subjects, and it just so happens that my opinion is different than yours. SUE ME. I'm so sick of someone asking "What do you think about blah blah blah?" and then bitching me out or trying to shame me because I answer honestly.
No, I don't have the same opinion as you. Yeah, my opinion may sound a little harsh or blunt. Yeah, I may sound like I'm a little short on sympathy right now. No, I don't give the "popular" opinion with the rest of the sheep, to keep from offending someone. But you know what? YOU ASKED! If you can't take a truthful opinion without getting all pissy, then don't freakin' ask!
No, I don't have the same opinion as you. Yeah, my opinion may sound a little harsh or blunt. Yeah, I may sound like I'm a little short on sympathy right now. No, I don't give the "popular" opinion with the rest of the sheep, to keep from offending someone. But you know what? YOU ASKED! If you can't take a truthful opinion without getting all pissy, then don't freakin' ask!
Monday, March 28, 2011
Breastfeeding Rocks!
So... you think nursing mothers should breastfeed in the bathroom? Gross! Do you want to eat your dinner in the bathroom? Why do you have such a problem with mothers breastfeeding their babies in public? Why do you say that "something like that" should be done in private? Is it because you're another perverted human who can't look at a breast without thinking about sex?
Women also commit sexual acts with their mouths, so should our mouths be covered as well? If you want to head in that direction, move to the Middle East and become a Muslim, where women are required to keep their faces covered. Breasts were given to us to feed our children, and as a happy side benefit, to please our men. But their main purpose is to give sustenance to infants.
Who are you to say that women can't nurse their babies in public? There's nothing wrong with it! The women are not baring their breasts in a lacivious manner in order to entice men; they are nursing hungry babies. Why should they have to do so in a bathroom? Bathrooms are dirty, germ-ridden environments!
You sit at a table to eat, why can't the baby eat at the table also? I've seen the way some people dive into a plate of food, without any manners at all, chewing loudly, smacking, talking with their mouths full, spraying food spittle while they're still chewing, taking bites that are too large, etc... Oh and let's not forget that godawful sound of a fork or knife being skritched across the plate. It actually, physically hurts my ears. Why should that sort of behavior be tolerated in public? People like that should be kicked out of restaurants, right?
I tell you what, if you think women should breastfeed in a bathroom, that's fine. I think close-minded perverts should eat out of my sight. So the next time you order a steak and baked potato, take it to the filthy bathroom to eat it, okay?
Women also commit sexual acts with their mouths, so should our mouths be covered as well? If you want to head in that direction, move to the Middle East and become a Muslim, where women are required to keep their faces covered. Breasts were given to us to feed our children, and as a happy side benefit, to please our men. But their main purpose is to give sustenance to infants.
Who are you to say that women can't nurse their babies in public? There's nothing wrong with it! The women are not baring their breasts in a lacivious manner in order to entice men; they are nursing hungry babies. Why should they have to do so in a bathroom? Bathrooms are dirty, germ-ridden environments!
You sit at a table to eat, why can't the baby eat at the table also? I've seen the way some people dive into a plate of food, without any manners at all, chewing loudly, smacking, talking with their mouths full, spraying food spittle while they're still chewing, taking bites that are too large, etc... Oh and let's not forget that godawful sound of a fork or knife being skritched across the plate. It actually, physically hurts my ears. Why should that sort of behavior be tolerated in public? People like that should be kicked out of restaurants, right?
I tell you what, if you think women should breastfeed in a bathroom, that's fine. I think close-minded perverts should eat out of my sight. So the next time you order a steak and baked potato, take it to the filthy bathroom to eat it, okay?
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