Dear Neighbor,
The next time you let your dog crap in my yard, I will resort to childish pranks. I won't hesitate to scoop your dog's poo into a paper sack, place it gently on your front porch, set it aflame and run away laughing my ass off.
Keep your stupid dogs on a leash and please, for the sake of your front porch, collect any deposits your canines decide to drop through the neighborhood. Do not tempt me to actually play the "flaming bag of poo" game with you; I would have too much fun doing it.
Ha, ha, ha! I need to come stay the night and help with the flaming poo. It will be like old times. We were little pranksters!!!!
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